I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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