ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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