Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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