I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize