Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
