There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Operation Purity has been aborted
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
