Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
