butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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