It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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