what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
