you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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