Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
