this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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