So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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