Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
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bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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