doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize