What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
