some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
