whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize