Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
