This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
