if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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