i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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