Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
