So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
