im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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