Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
