I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
