you have to choose: penises or morals?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
