i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
