Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
