Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
