Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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