My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
