Soap is not a condiment
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
