I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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