my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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