its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
