I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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