he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
