If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's never too late to be topless.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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