i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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