We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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