have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
