At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
