so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
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Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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