Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
