In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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