I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We have started to decorate penises.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
