He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
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I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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