He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
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Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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