dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
