ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
