You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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