I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
