Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you had me at cake vodka
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
