i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
