u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
