you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
where am i from again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
