when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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