At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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