office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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