Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
