She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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