my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
