Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
