just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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